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Examples / Email

An unclear request

The client needs an updated delivery date. Internal confirmation is required by Thursday, 4 PM — that deadline was already known in the team.

ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLENO CLIENT DATA
Say It Clearly — with Sapna

Before, after — and why.

ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLE
“Please confirm the revised delivery date by Thursday, 4 PM, so we can update the client.”
NO CLAIMED CLIENT RESULTS
Before

“Please check this and update ASAP.”

After

“Please confirm the revised delivery date by Thursday, 4 PM, so we can update the client.”

Reason for the change

Action, deadline and reason became clear. The deadline was available in the context — the rewrite did not invent it.

Reader → Purpose → Facts → Structure → Next step

Steps you can reuse.

  • Name the reader and what they must do
  • State the action once, without hedging
  • Add the deadline that already exists
  • Give the reason in one clause

TEMPLATE   Action-focused email template